Sam Neill, eat your heart out

The cattle grazed peacefully in the paddock.

"Flora, weren't we clever to manipulate those humans into providing us with all we want to eat and then a relatively painless death?"

"Yes Daisy, we wouldn't get it so good in the wild."

"Look, isn't that Sam Neill over there having a chew on Uncle Charlie's leg?"

"My goodness, so it is.  One day, if he keeps eating red meat at this rate, we'll have helped to despatch him.  It's always good to return a favour."

"But I'm afraid his death won't be as quick as ours.  Eating too much of our flesh can cause a myriad of unpleasant, fatal  illnesses."

"Oh yes, but just think how comforting it will be for him in his final hours to know what a big brain he has."

"Absolutely, but it's a pity he never used it.  I mean, who in their right mind would do an ad for red meat with a primarily vegetarian orang-utan?  Although they sometimes eat small creatures, fruit is their favourite food and it makes up 65-90% of their diet.  On top of that, they also eat leaves, seeds, tree bark, plant bulbs, tender plant shoots and flowers (source: Wikipedia).  If humans ate as little red meat as an orang-utan, the industry wouldn't survive.

"SAM, WHAT A BIG BRAIN YOU HAVE"

"ALL THE BETTER TO CONTEMPLATE

A FUTURE OF

HEART DISEASE, CANCER AND GOODNESS KNOWS WHAT"

They like to boogie ...