Friday, September 10, 2010

WHAT THE ALIEN SAW ... or ... "It's a Wrap"

One fine spring day, the alien called Zop landed his craft in invisible mode on a quiet suburban street. Zop’s mission was to observe and report on the cultural behaviour of the local homo sapiens. His findings would earn him a PhD on his home planet if he was lucky.

He heard a noise coming from what looked like a community meeting place. “Ah, I’m sure to see something here of academic interest to my head of department”.

When Zop saw the assembled group of women, he knew he had hit paydirt. Their “leader”, probably the high priestess, was showing the others how to wrap what looked like very long bandages around and around their bodies, this way and that, then twisting and pulling a long “tail” over their heads from behind. Then they bent their knees, bending forwards slightly, and stomped round and round the room.

Zop had of course studied the cultural practices of earth for his undergraduate degree. He reached the obvious conclusion that these women were worshippers of ancient Egyptian mummies. This ritual was apparently designed to bring the mummies back to life. His theory was strengthened when he read the title of their pamphlet “Bones for Life”, although it would have made more sense to him if it had read “Bones brought back to Life”. But where they stored the old Egyptian bones was still a mystery to him.

This discovery was certainly very exciting for he had never read about such a sect existing on modern earth. But one facet confused him. Their “dance” was more like that of the American Indian than that of the Egyptians. In fact, he heard the priestess mention the name “Pocohontas”. Clearly, there was an as yet undiscovered connection between those two cultures, which he could enlarge on in his thesis. Yes, he would certainly impress his professor back home.

The dance was followed by communal singing in a magic circle. Then, exhausted by their dallying with the gods, they all laid down on special mats on the floor. The building itself must have been a power source as they all pushed their hands into its walls to get some sort of a recharge.

All in all, Zop found the experience most enlightening. He returned quickly to his home planet where he wrote up his observations and submitted his thesis. He was awarded a First and became a renowned, much respected professor of anthropology.

The ladies continued to meet weekly for their Bones for Life classes, completely unaware of Zop's visit and their effect on a distant alien civilisation.
TO READ MORE ABOUT "Bones for Life" classes, visit

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As I walk by the river or sit in my tiny garden, not thinking of anything in particular, thoughts sometimes seep into my brain. If you'd like to read my seepage, here it is ...