At the pet shop

I pulled up in front of the building that announced itself as "PETWISE - from noses to paws".  What I was after had neither noses nor paws.  Well, as far as I knew, fish had neither of these, but maybe David Attenborough knows differently.

I needed some PBEs.  That's Pacific Blue Eyes for those without a garden pond full of mozzie wrigglers.  The last lot had died.  I don't know why.  But the three fish in my other pond were still doing well after nearly a year.  I had hoped they would produce some young which I could transfer to the second pond before the wrigglers came back.  No luck.  And it's started raining.  Wriggler heaven.

As I peruse the array of fish along one wall of the shop, an assistant asks if he can help.  "I'm after some Pacific Blue Eyes."  He too starts to sweep his eyes from tank to tank when another assistant whispers to him: "We don't have any."  This message is then relayed to me by the young man, only louder.  "WE DON'T HAVE ANY."

"Will you be getting them in?" I ask.  Again, a whisper followed by a louder relay: "We're fighting to get them added to our database."

"Fighting?" I ask.  "Who?  Some government department?"

The whisperer then speaks to me direct: "No, we're fighting to find room to display them so that we can add them to our database."  I don't see much fighting for space going on.  Half the tanks are completely empty.

Fishless, I grab a supply of flakes for the tadpoles.  They love fish food.  And it's easier than remembering to freeze lettuce.  The woman ahead of me in the checkout produces her Petwise customer card.  "I'm sorry, madam, your Petwise card won't work anymore.  We're Petbarn now."  Ah, but for a change of four letters, she could have had her usual discount.  "But if you will fill out this form, you'll be able to get a discount next time."

"But I'll be in the database" she pleads.  "I'm afraid not.  We don't have the Petwise database any more."  At that moment, I swear I heard the ghost of Franz Kafka giggling his head off.

I considered suggesting that she may have a good case in law because Petwise was still the name proudly displayed in very large letters on the front wall of the shop.  I remained silent.  I've already upset my quota of people for this week.

My turn next.  "Would you like to fill out this form and become a ... [drum roll and flashing lights] ... Petbarn customer?"  "No thanks, the odd bit of fish food wouldn't justify it."

I still have another pet shop to try.  I wonder what adventures await me there.