History may look back on you and say: "Oh, you poor downtrodden housewife. Your ghostlike form trolleyed the aisles of the supermarket, unnoticed, unseen."
Hah! You don't fool me.
History casts its eye over the scene and sees all these huge rocks. But I look down deep into the cracks between those rocks to where the gold lay hidden.
I'm not saying that this sort of woman didn't exist - she certainly did - but, look beyond the Tupperware and often a different picture emerges.
She may have paid lip-service to "the man of the house", but she was the real boss of the home and family. I've watched her "type", attentively listening to her husband's viewpoints and ideas, seemingly absorbed by everything he had to say. Every now and then, as if on cue, she would offer a sing-songy "Yes, dear"; "You're absolutely right"; "What a good idea".
This was just one of those interruptions to the flow of her life that she had to put up with, like obligatory sex, in order to maintain her position. She treated him in exactly the same way as she would treat a small child proudly presenting their latest artwork. "Oh, that one's going straight onto the fridge door."
The husband, swelled with manly pride, never seemed to notice how he was being hoodwinked. She was a good wife.
Afterwards, it was as though he hadn't spoken. His words had not even penetrated her consciousness and she just carried on as usual. She prided herself on these "feminine" ways, her skill at keeping her marriage on an even keel. To her it was just how women behaved if they wanted to keep their place in the world.
But she was just all front. She had constructed her persona around what she thought femininity should look like. She may not have had the opportunity to pursue a high-powered career, but she certainly had a strong power base. She ran her life, her husband's and her children's with military precision from behind her frilly apron. In fact, a friend's mother provided a hint of how some women actually perceive themselves. Shortly after her husband had died, she said "I feel just like a general without an army."
So, don't be fooled, you historians. Things aren't always as they appear on the surface.
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